transmission issues

When i slow down on the highway or even in town after going faster then 20 and then try and speed up my rpms dont go up at all or it tries to and then just dies almost making it impossible to speed up without flooring it or turning off my car then back on to reset the system. Its almost like its not catching the gear at all. It also seems to try and get to 4th gear very quickly. When i stop and put it in park after this the car shakes pretty good. If i drive slow enough and don't accelerate quickly i can manage to drive without the problem occuring. I am not sure what the problem is.....any ideas whats going on?
This is on a 1997 c230