98 Chev Malibu - electrical/starting problem

I've had a few problems with this Malibu but it's generally been good.

In the last month though, it's misbehaved.

I noticed that starting was a little laboured, I figured it was a weak battery so I bought a nice shiny Canadian Tire Eliminator and the problem went away for about 2 weeks...

I have been driving the car daily for weeks after the new battery was installed with no issues. I let it sit for 2 days and when I went to start it it didn't even make a 'click' sound. The battery seemed to be completely drained.

I charged the battery and installed again. I now get a single 'click' when I turn the key. The starter doesn't turn. Nothing.

A host of weird electrical gremlins seem to run about when I tried to start it after the recharge including:
- a ticking sound from passenger dash ( think it's the fan )
- dash idiot lights come on and off
- tacho rises to 5 k and sits there
- dome light comes on and then off

These gremlins persisted even when the key is in the 'off' position. Very strange indeed. I suspect that all of this weird activity is killing the battery but I'm not sure why it won't turn over when the battery has been freshly charged.

I will be checking the fuses tonight but I wonder if anyone has seen this before?

Many thanks for any advice,
RH.

ironman_stittsville wrote in
87f63491119fd76f9b766be7d12a0375.RemoveThis@0000.com:

> These gremlins persisted even when the key is in the 'off' position.
> Very strange indeed. I suspect that all of this weird activity is
> killing the battery but I'm not sure why it won't turn over when the
> battery has been freshly charged.
>

I have a little 12V light bulb with wires to two small ring terminals
whos rings have been cut to little pins that will stick into the blade
fuse slots on the fuse block. If anything is pulling current through the
fuse, the bulb either glows, low current, or comes on full bright, high
current or short to ground which blows the fuse.

The wires are long enough so I can put the light up on the dash and see
it from anywhere in the car...trunk, hood, interior. I can hang it from
the fuse block under the car if I have to.

Plugged into an errant circuit, like the DAMNABLE POWER WINDOWS of my '96
Caprice Cop Classic Cruiser my father left me when he died in January, I
can push and pull and unplug things while watching the light to see where
the current's going that blows the fuse, pops the circuit breakers or
kills the battery....works great, cost near nothing.

Remove the fuses with the battery charged, engine off, interior light OFF
by pushing in the switch or closing the doors. Plug in the little light
and see which one of them is draining your battery. BE prepared to
notice the damned computer runs all the time and draws current that will
light the little light on its fuse. If you find, for instance, the light
lights on the heater fan fuse position, when, obviously no current should
be going that way, you can go unplug the fan or the switch or whatever to
find out why. The little light gives you an indication what's drawing
current, not just where the 12V appears to be.

It's how I found the chafed plastic wires, covered in cheap plastic tape
shorted to the sharp RUSTED, UNPROTECTED steel inside the right front
door, blowing the 30A breaker in the DAMNED CAPRICE, today.....

Damn GM.....cheapskates!


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